Spontaneous Dancing and Heartfelt Blogs
I just read Reynier's latest blog entry and it made me cry.A couple days ago, he and I had a conversation where he told me that he felt there were parts of me that he didn't know even though we've been together (and lived together) for 3 years. It's true that there are many things that I think and feel that I don't share. When I'm with my mom and brother, with whom I feel most at ease, I am super random, dancing around for no reason, and cracking jokes like nobody's business. I really am more fun, I think.
Reynier sees some of this stuff (except the dancing), but not all of it and I wish that it weren't that way. I wish I could be the same way all the time and not give a care to what people think. Unfortunately, I have a lot of care for what Reynier thinks because I think he's amazing. He's also critical of things that I do, which has helped me a lot but also makes my insecure self very scared. I constantly wonder, what would Reynier think if I did this or that thing. I don't want to be that way. It's so uninteresting. I want to be the person that cracks jokes all the time without worrying if her audience will think they're funny. I want to dance for no reason at all except I feel like dancing.
Things to work on and think about.
Labels: Dancing, Insecurity, Jokes, Reynier
posted by Adultivity @ 10:15 PM
3 Comments:
Your danzes. I lubs it.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jen, I can perfectly envision your dance moves. I had completely forgotten about that! I have so many great memories of you from back in the day :) And I think Reynier would LOVE that part of you so much.
- Michelle
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