3AM Freakouts and waking up before the sun
Blogging from work, like a badass:Yesterday was my first day being on my own at work here at the doggie hotel (I had been training for two weeks) and I was convinced that everything that could go wrong would. At any time, there are at least 20 dogs staying and eating at the place (many of these dogs live here because they're rescues and don't have homes) and all those dogs have to be managed in the computer by me. The really great thing that happened was that one of the Rescue dogs was adopted and would be picked up the next day! I scheduled his bath for that night, so he would be nice and fresh for his new parents. Everything was fine but as I left I couldn't shake the feeling that I was forgetting something. I checked and double checked everything, locked up, and left.
That night, Reynier and I watched a movie and I probably stayed up later than I should have, knowing that I had to be up at 5:30 the next morning (many people may not understand how little of a morning person I am. I hate it. When the alarm goes off at that time, my status is "want to step off building"). Then, when I finally cuddled into bed, I couldn't sleep. Everything that I did yesterday was racing through my head. I was watching the tape of my day in Fast Forward and the time was ticking away. When I started to get sleepy it was around 1:30.
I was having strange anxiety dreams where my boss wanted me to pick up his one-year old baby from school and he said I could take the company van or the company bicycle (yes, a goddamn bicycle) and I was trying to figure out how to carry around a baby on a bicycle because I really didn't want to drive the van. Then, I woke up with a really bad stomachache and the realization that although I had scheduled the adopted dog's bath, I hadn't printed the schedule and given it to any human person. The only thing that calmed me down was the hope that the one person I had mentioned it to had remembered and passed the word on to the night people who would be giving the bath, or better yet, had given the bath himself. I felt like I had really bad indigestion and all I could do was try to relax and not wake Reynier with my craziness (I failed because at one point he rolled over and told me I was driving him "a little bit crazy").
Anyhow, at around 4, I was able to fall asleep and then I woke up and headed to work at 5:30, before the sun was up. Jeezus, I hate getting up early. When I got here, I was ready to beg the Kennel Assistants to give the dog a quick bath before my slip-up could be detected.
I said, "I did something really stupid, Popo (names have been changed to protect the smelly) was adopted and he's getting picked up today and I scheduled the bath but I didn't print out the sheet and ohgodhelpmeplease!
And she was like, "Oh, it's done. I saw the note."
I never thought I would be so excited about a dog getting a bath but I was so fucking relieved. I guess the one person that I told was more on top of it than I thought.
PS- Yes, I am a crazy girl and not even in the hot, girls-gone-wild kind of way.


2 Comments:
Re You being a crazy Girl:
Don't I know it?! But, happily, I think you also have a lot of girls-gone-wild-crazy in you! :-)
As far as your work stuff goes, you have to learn how to let go, babba. You can only do your best -- everything else is up to the universe. It's like pitching a fast ball: you can swing your arm around as fast and hard as you like, but if you don't let go then all you do is hurt your arm -- you certainly won't be striking anybody out.
Also, I think it's good that you're just being tossed into the thick of things at your new job, because I think too many of your anxieties are a result of being shielded and cradled all the time. I think the only way you're really going to make breakthroughs is if you just jump into the madness. And you'll really make leaps and bounds if you not only accept, but take pleasure in that madness (aka life).
I believe we experience the best parts of life when we're pushing our own limits and going to the edge of what we can do -- and beyond.
LOL, I couldn't help but laugh at this post. I could perfectly picture you freaking out.
Of course, I'm NOT laughing AT you :) I'm glad everything worked out for the best ;)
- Michelle
Post a Comment
<< Home