Adultivity

The Week

It's been very strange. These past couple of weeks. I feel annoyed at everything. I don't know what to do about anything. I feel like sleeping but feel like being alive and awake. I want to be alone but I want to go out and be social. It's random.

Last night, I dreamt that I lived with my mom and brother in a huge luxury loft. There was a beautiful swimming pool and a garden with snakes. The groundskeeper gave me and my brother each a snake to hold. I was very scared and at one point Franky and I were each holding half of a huge thick snake, like a boa constrictor. I start to calm down when I think that this keeper person knows what he's doing and isn't going to let the snake kill me. Franky got scared and started to move away, taking me with him, while I'm holding the other end of the snake. I try to calm him down and he comes back. The keeper takes the snake back and we go upstairs.
Reynier comes to visit me and I tell him that I wish he and I were the ones living in the loft. I tell him I wish I could help him. I hug him and he leaves. I'm having so much fun. I love the loft but I feel like my family and I don't fit in with the people who live there. The doorman looks at us funny, but I don't care. Then I woke up.

posted by Adultivity @ 5:27 PM 0 comments

What it feels like

Something I wrote today. I think it might be the start of something or I might let it stand on its own...




You know it’s happening because your vision starts to go black around the edges. The color drips and bleeds toward the center. You’re passing out. You start to fall but you’re numb and you don’t feel it. The only reason you know you’re falling is because your view changes. It was a photo of girl in a mirror and now it’s the dirt at the foot of the sink. Your body is dead. It doesn’t feel anything and your brain starts to scream, “What did you do?!” or “No! Not here!” It’s too late, though. You fall and hopefully you get up soon. Maybe you wait before you do it to yourself again. Maybe you die again tomorrow.

posted by Adultivity @ 10:36 PM 1 comments